Reclaiming My Body

I wish you were dead.

One less reason to tread ever so lightly, despite the nights i bled. It would’ve been easier if i were drowned in a pool of lead, the nights i was spread thin on that bed, tears shed, an image so sickening, i was deeply misled.

Every single night i pled guilty to a crime hoping to escape my head so suffocatingly filled with dread, i read into all of it, the thread of beautiful destruction, the appeal of things not said , all of the deceit you were able to embed and damn i should have run but instead there i was again on that bedspread

No more nights of bloodshed, i can’t, You no longer enchant me, i’ll take every chance to flee, fiercely needing to be free, i’ll banish myself to the darks of the sea if it means one less spree of self-doubt, pity, and remorse, i have the key to my own heart and you can’t pay the fee, it was sickly and beastly, this thing we called ours, and every burn, to the third degree, i stayed.

A room full of debris blinded me to foresee a nauseating situation, it’s time to disagree with what you think makes me happy, my sadness an understated hyperbole of depressed, a wannabee success

But i am mine, starting from the baseline and working till the moment i shine like a sparkling glass of wine, intoxicated on myself