Mind Be A Cascade

Guide to being a strong, black woman

Or

How my body betrays me in search of refuge

Or

Maybe my mind be a cascade like the doctor tells me

I sometimes be wading through my own oceans Alone and wet

I try to make myself float

Me being the anchor

And I am still shocked when I end up drowned

Tell myself to push through and survive

I will make it this time

This time is different

And if this time isn't different

It’s just because I'm weak

I want to caps today

I cried and I smiled after

Body immediately heal itself

Like the subside of a river

And when she asked why I had such an emotional response

I said I was fine

And I believed it

Cause I believe even the most beautiful things have some chaos to it

And my soul want so much joy happiness and love All my body wants is another for the cold nights

To distract in the midst of screams and echoes

All body wants is another hand to make ripples of my spine for

To unravel my tight wounds for

Make a mess of me

Wet and swallow me whole

Why I find such grace in their drowning I will never know

But it feels good

The way my body sings when it's free

When it's scattered along another's tides

I am not meant to be put together again

Not when I have such a liking to disarray

Not when I keep running back to the water to cleanse my mind clean

See, I think too many thoughts and wonder why I’m muddled still

Why body won't get up

But it's so warm in my safe place

And it's so cold and bright out there

So I think I will stay in here for a few

Where my body finds joy in all the trouble and shamble that is me

I like to make my own floods

And wonder where the trickle began

I like to blame my mind for my own foods

For my own full

Body and mind be a disconnect

Body says peak

Mind says don’t

Body says stay down

Mind says please try to get up

Body says “Is this me now?”

Mind says look at this wave

How it dips and dives

How it keeps forming a new even after the break When mind breaks

Sometimes I scream or cry or laugh

When mind breaks

I wonder when the next rush will come

When mind breaks

I ask why I always seem to spill over

Look, all this torrent and collide has made a valley A fall my soul could swim and make a home too And yes I be a whirl pool of tears and breathless love

So my current still runs in the good times

My current still runs in the bad times

When I don't think I could tread much more

This body still survives