Six Rules Of Sex (For Black Women)

One: Don’t have it.

Two: If you must, make sure it’s not him.

Three: You know him. The one that stares at you from across the room; whose gaze lingers on your eyes, your breasts, and then your hips, but mostly your hips. The one that waits until your friend is distracted by something, and then makes his way to your table to tell you he’s lost something: his number. He’s lost his number so he asks for yours.

Four: You give it to him because he made you laugh. Correction: you pretended to laugh. Actually, he is the only guy that has approached you in a month. So you give it to him because he made you pretend to laugh.

Five: He calls (at midnight on a Friday night), and tells you he misses you. He has only met you once but tells you that that was enough to make him miss you. You giggle on your end of the line and tell him you miss him too. He says prove it. He says prove it by going to see him.

Six: You don’t. You don’t because you don’t have sex with guys like him. That’s why you’re not fixing your hair, why you’re not putting on your favourite lip gloss (not lipstick, because the last guy complained that your lipstick stained his sheets). That was a month ago, and it ripped out your soul and stole your magic. This month, you’re a new person. You don’t have sex with guys like him.