Self-Love Diary from a Girl with Hashimoto's Disease

Wake up. Hit snooze for the millionth time. Go back to sleep. Repeat. Wake up. Hit snooze for the millionth time. Go back to sleep. Repeat. Wake up. Hit snooze for the millionth time. Go back to sleep. Repeat.

When I finally do wake up, I go about my day feeling like my brain is still asleep.

Hashimoto's Disease is an autoimmune disease that affects the thyroid gland, a gland that creates hormones for bodily functions such as burning calories, regulation, etc. Personally, I have hypothyroidism which means my thyroid doesn't produce enough thyroid hormones.

When I was in high school, I knew something was wrong. I had gained weight like crazy during my sophomore year, I was always feeling cold, and I was tired ALL THE TIME. My mom suffered from thyroid issues as well so she suspected that I was going through the same ting. I went to see an endocrine doctor, and sure enough, they found the little nodules just chilling there on my thyroid.

After getting on medication, my symptoms began to go away and I was finally getting to feeling normal. That is until my first semester of college.

Last semester, I began to feel extreme fatigue even though I was getting adequate sleep. It was controlling me so much that I would find myself not going to social events, not performing my best academically, and just not feeling good throughout the day. It turns out my thyroid hormone level had plateaued. Just as I was feeling like I was doing everything to keep my head above water, so was my thyroid was doing the same because the function had stayed the same instead of improving.

So what does this have to do with love?

While going through this whole process, I found myself getting mad at my body. Why did I have to go through this? It wasn't fair. Not only was I feeling terrible on the inside, I felt as though I looked terrible on the outside too.

After deep reflection and a good ole' therapy session with my mom, I've realized that there are things that are in my control and there are things that are not. For example, I can't control how my body is going to react to my environment, but I can control whether I take my medicine, eat right, and exercise. I've had to come to face the hard truth that my normal may not be somebody else's and I need to be okay with that. I have to love myself-to take care of myself.

So as the season of love continues this month, I want to remind everyone to take time to love and care for themselves. Stay in tune with your body. I know everyone stresses this especially in college, but it can be hard to practice what we preach. As for me, I will take this valentine's season and semester to better myself to my fullest extent and I hope you all do the same.