Mental Health: When will it come first?

It’s that time of the semester. 

We’re drowning in midterms, being assigned papers left and right, and the weather is changing which means seasonal depression is upon us. 

I constantly feel like I always have so much going on, but that’s not the only reason why my life feels overwhelming. I knew this semester was going to be rough, but I never seem to be able to prepare for certain hardships. I feel like something I have always battled with, especially throughout my undergraduate career, is my mental health. With Mental Illness Awareness Week being in October, I’ve taken a lot of time to recognize the state of my mental health and how I can improve it. 

The week of October 11, I could not seem to get myself together. I was so stressed out and couldn’t bring myself to be productive. Tuesday of that week, I woke up with the worst migraine I’ve had in years. That day was supposed to be a “wellness day,” but all it did was leave me feeling worse than I did at the beginning of the week. I spent the majority of that day sitting in my room with the lights turned off, crying and just hoping to be able to pull myself out of that funk. I talked to my mom throughout the day and she suggested not going to class. I was hesitant at first because one thing about me, I always go to class. No matter how I was feeling, I made sure to be in my lecture at its scheduled time. But this time, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. I emailed my teachers and told them how I was feeling, and I was so relieved when they understood. They told me to not worry about absences and to do what I felt was best for my mental health. I can honestly say that is something I never did. I seemed to put UNC first and my mental health second. That week made me realize that I have to stop doing that. I ended up not going to class for the remainder of that week, but I didn’t regret it at all. I needed to step back and make sure I was myself again once I stepped back into the classroom. I hate that it took me so long to do that, but I’m so glad I did. 

As the semester is coming to an end, I’m trying to take care of myself mentally and physically, while making sure that my work is getting done as well. If I’m not right within, I won’t be able to do anything right at all.