Letter to a Future Student
Dear New Student,
Welcome to UNC, home of the Tar Heels! There’s so much to do here in your four years (or two if you are a transfer student). You can explore your major and who you are as a person or watch our football team, the Tar Heels, win lots of games. You can also join one or more of the numerous clubs hosted on campus and make new and lasting connections.
What’s that? Are you nervous about making friends?
Who could blame you? Being in a new environment is scary, especially when everyone around you seems like a stranger. But listen! I promise there are plenty of friendly people here, and no one will bite if you say hello. However, what if making connections doesn’t appeal to you because of something else? Something like fear or anxiety?
Maybe you tried creating some relationships in the past, but they fizzled out. Or someone close hurt you in a way that makes it difficult for you to trust anyone again. Maybe the pain was so bad, you’ve decided to cut off all interactions and become a student hermit. One that lurks in rooms with the lights off and the curtains closed.
Please don’t resign yourself to this type of life.
Most of us have made connections that turned out to be terrible. But the good news is that you can always make new and better connections. I know how hard it is to open yourself up when you’ve been hurt so many times. I know this because I’ve been there before.
Once upon a time, I loved making friends and being around people. In fact, you could say that I was an extreme extrovert. However, years of moving from place to place and growing social anxieties gradually decreased my desire to communicate with other students. I always felt like I couldn’t connect with anyone no matter how hard I tried. My situation worsened after a year of social isolation due to Covid-19. By the time UNC opened for in-person classes, I had no intention of making any new friends. To me, I didn’t see the point of doing so. I thought no one would care about me once I had left. The only thing I wanted to do was graduate as soon as possible.
But things changed when I arrived at Chapel Hill. The teachers were the first to prove that the community of UNC was different from other schools. After initial introductions, they took the time to learn about the aspirations of the students. It is rare for a teacher to care about their students in such a warm manner. I noticed a few students had goals similar to mine. I connected with them and learned who they were and what they wanted to accomplish. After a couple days of talking to other students, I started to make some friends. And it wasn't long before I found myself socializing with fascinating students and teachers.
Many of them showed they genuinely cared about me and wanted me to succeed. Students and teachers offered advice when I needed it most and made me feel welcomed at the school. Gradually, I began opening myself up and enjoying my time at UNC. I no longer wanted to hole myself in my room. I wanted to be a part of the campus and the wonderful community it held. I believe this can happen to you too.
The great thing about building connections is that its benefits work both ways. When you engage with people and support them, they do what they can to support you in your journey. Perhaps the dormmates you greet every morning will help kill a fat spider in your room. Or a teacher sends an email to check on you because they noticed you looked sad in class. Maybe a fellow student invites you to their dorm to bake cookies because you always make them laugh. When you open yourself up to others, you can fill your social circle with people who care about you.
The phrase “What comes around, goes around”, applies to UNC and the people here. If you reach out to others with kindness and an open heart, they will reach out to you. In fact, it is almost impossible to not make a new friend here. No matter how many connections you make, cherish the supportive ones. These will remain with you even after you graduate. When it's time to find a job, they might help you with a recommendation, offer advice, or support you through the rough times. In short, the connections you make today can change your life forever.
Be a connection to someone else if you can. Teach that person what you know and offer them advice. Five years from now, you'll be so glad you did.
UNC-Chapel Hill is a great school to be at, and I'm sure you'll feel at home here. There is so much to do here and many students to meet. It all starts with you deciding to put yourself out there. So, take a chance, be bold, and make new friends. I wish you good luck in your semesters here and many future successes.
Sincerely,
A Graduating Senior