Abandonment//Three Ways
Oxford Street, Half Past 10
I was spitting in the sink, watching the
mucus crawl towards the drain-- a slow,
ugly thing. The hair on my head was
half mine, half stranger’s, all braided and
twisted into a clump of soft blackness
at the nape of my neck. Outside the
window a woman screamed;
I remained in place.
II. Dorm, After Midnight
The hair on my head is now fully mine.
The curls slink down the drain when
the water hits my scalp, and in those
moments when I am naked and blind,
soaping my hair in temporary whiteness,
trying to understand the curvatures and
contours of the hair I was given at birth.
III. The Wilderness, Sometime Before the Kids Woke Up
He slides a pillow beneath my head before
angling my hips towards the wall. I was seduced
by his stories of tragedy; men spin their traumas
into lullabies when it suits them---
my resolve dissolved before my eyes. Half naked
under a blanket that did not belong to me, my heartbeat
stuttered as I felt him against me.
I speak of this encounter---
It has stopped feeling miraculous.